Yes, This Will Be on the Final

Jill Piper's Totally Unscientific Quiz for Addicts' Moms.

          An addict's mom has to be on her toes to get through the day. How would you handle the typical situations below?

          1.Your adult child's phone bill comes.  Do you:

                   a. Stuff in drawer with others

                   b. Divert that amount to new custom-fitted bras

                   c. Pay it because as long as she has a phone you know where she is

          2. What's the best binge food for crying jag:

               a. Birthday cake

               b. Rotel dip

               c.  Ashes

           3.     Your friend's child just finished medical school. Do you:

                a. counter that your kid is taking a “gap year”

                b. manage icy smile 

                c. say Serenity Prayer through clenched teeth

           4.     Micro amounts of cash disappear from your wallet when your adult child                        drops by. Do you:

                  a. Leave a few $1's and $5's lying around so addict won't get to your real                      money

                  b. Hide wallet in zip compartment of vacuum cleaner

                  c.  Tell yourself you must have bought something you forgot about

5.     Your son lives in a house with no utilities. Lately he's been asking you to pick him up so he can shower & use your computer to “look for work.” You:

                   a. See his number on the Caller ID and let it go to voicemail

                   b. Figure if he's resourceful enough to buy drugs, he can figure this out too

                   c. Drop everything and work on his problem

                    

                6.  My favorite film or TV show about addiction or alcoholism is:

                    a. I 'll Cry Tomorrow with Susan Hayward

                    b. My Name Is Bill W. with James Woods

                    c. Nurse Jackie with Edie Falco

                    d. The Lost Weekend with Ray Milland

                    e. Days of Wine and Roses with Jack Lemmon

                7. Who's more gratifying to blame:

                    a. Child's second grade teacher

                    b. Husband's side of the family

                    c. Self           

                 8.  Your son wants $5 for cigarettes. You:

                      a. give him $5  if he promises to go to a meeting

                      b. withhold $5 until after he's been to a meeting

                      c. buy pack of cigarettes and smoke them yourself

Self-Scoring:  The correct answer is there are no “correct” answers. ( You knew that was coming, right?) I have done “all of the above,” and a lot of them more than once. We respond to our children's addictions in a thousand different ways and employ a thousand different coping strategies. Some make us feel better for a few minutes, some make us feel worse. I have found that if I give myself permission to feel everything on this conflicting, heartbreaking continuum, I can tolerate the ambiguity of my situation. As long as there's cake.  - Jill Piper